He Goes Before Me

Hello, hello, my dear blogger world friends whom I have all but completely neglected the past 7 months!

I recently had a mental-emotional break down but what is new.

I think I thought that once I figured out more of my life, I would be less likely to have these, or at least have them less often. However, the truth of the matter remains: I am human. I can only carry so much before I break. I know God is omnipotent, please don’t come at me.

Some things have changed, tho, so that’s a plus. For instance, my breakdown this time was not about being clueless, being purposeless, or being altogether lost. This time I had a breakdown because I needed support and I realized something extraordinary to me anyway, Karen.

I realized this: No one will ever value or support your goals as much as you do.

And it’s not necessarily because of any ill well they may have towards you. It’s just that they were not created to have the same passions as you and that’s ok.

So, next time I ask someone about my dreams, and they don’t have the gung-ho attitude I do, I don’t need to retreat, withdraw, or feel hurt. I just need to realize that this dream has been given to me and no one else, and thus God has equipped me, not someone else, with the passion necessary to be successful in my goals.

Maybe this is something all of you smarties already knew. Maybe I’m just behind the times. Frankly, I don’t know. But here’s what I do know: With all your being, search the face of God for His will for your life and do not stray from it, no matter the social push-back you will receive. You were given one life to honor and obey HIM (nobody else), and it is your duty to do this whole heartedly, however frightening or dangerous or uncertain the future may seem.

As a Christian, diving head-long with overwhelming faith into obedience to God should be second nature. As a human, well, it’s anything BUT second nature. I question myself, I question God, I question everything and everyone.

Learning to rest in His perfect will with a gentle and quiet spirit, a sound mind, and a willing heart is H A R D.

But guess what? To stand against the Lord of Hosts is even harder.

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