I am not writing this post to tell you the ways you can tell if you love someone or the covert things they do by which you can decipher if they love you. Honestly, you can’t really know if they love you unless they are bold enough to say it. And to know if you love them? Well, you simply have to know yourself.
Love isn’t just a feeling – but let’s be real, we have all heard that and I did not set out to write a post about what everyone has already told you an infinite number of times (but then again, most of this is – and probably should be – just review for you).
What is love? How can you tell if you truly love someone?
I spent a lot of time turning these questions over in my heart and mind. Not really knowing the answers. Not really feeling qualified enough to write about them.
I realized that sometimes love is as simple as not knowing whether to choose the heart bubble or laughing bubble to attach to his “haha” iMessage because you cannot decide which you love more: the fact that you made him laugh or laughing with him.
Sometimes, love is as hard as saying, “I love you, but you are wrong.” Many people think that love is all about bringing out the best in someone, and while a large part of that is true, love is also about bringing out the flaws in someone and helping him become better and stronger despite his flaws. My mom compared it to smoothing each other’s rough edges – much like Proverbs 27:17 encourages us to be like “iron that sharpens iron”. Flaws are not to be suppressed or denied because of love. They are to be realized and addressed and healed in love.
Often, love is about not being stubborn and learning what the other person likes, and despite your own (possibly opposing) interests, you begin to try what they like just to have something in common. Just to be able to talk with the one you love about something that matters to them.
At times, love means putting your own desires on the back burner for the other person’s wishes. Being impatient and pushing certain things before they are ready is honestly the best way to ruin any relationship – but especially a romantic one.
In the end, when all is said and done, good and bad, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor – will you stand by each other? Will you love each other unconditionally? Serve each other in honesty and love? Be willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the other person? Be willing to tell each other truthfully about your faults and flaws? Be willing to forgive each other? Be willing to stick it out through any storm because you know there will be a rainbow one day? Be understanding and patient? Not require perfection but, together, strive for it?
If your answer to the above is “no” then reevaluate your heart because perhaps you are not truly “in love”.
Sometimes, love means having to let go and move on. And I think that’s the hardest…